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Let's Make a Lasting Change

Yvette Bernosky B.Ms, C.P.T

Executive Business Coach - Tony Robbins Madanes

Have you ever had something in your life that you wanted to change, yet you struggled with it for years, or maybe you still are? It could be losing weight, advancing your career, improving your relationships, or dropping old habits. Most of us have had something at one time or another that we couldn't seem to overcome.   

Making change can be challenging; letting go of old ways can seem daunting.

We need to ask ourselves this question first. Is this something we should change or must change? As Tony Robins would say, "It's very easy to should all over yourself."

I should eat healthier, acquire skills to move forward in my job, put more effort into my relationships, or drop this habit that no longer serves me. When you think you should do something, chances are you have not linked enough pain to why you want to make a change and enough pleasure to the outcome. You have yet to acquire the mindset to take massive action. 

I can always tell when clients start with me if they are ready. We begin by discussing their goals and their whys. The bigger their why, the more committed they are to the outcome. The pain of staying the same has become large enough for them to take action. Regardless, the fact that they decided on coaching is a huge step!  

This consultation helps set our path and gain clarity.

A few things need to happen to make lasting change. One is that we must disrupt our patterns as an old habit emerges. We do this in three ways. Here is the triad for change: change your focus, physiology, and language at that moment. We repeat this repeatedly until we have disrupted our pattern so much that a new one forms and takes hold. Lastly, we plug in a new behavior to take its place. 

Recently, I decided to make some changes in my life. I love public speaking, and I’d like to do more of it. I enjoy writing and want to create programs and write books. And lastly, I want to expand my coaching services. All of these go hand in hand with my career. Two things struck pain points in me to take massive action with how I spend my time. One was a program on procrastination and how much time we have left in our lives. This impacted me. The second was listening to a podcast that stated that to be a great coach for others; you need to be a great coach for yourself first. I associated great pain with not fulfilling my dreams and incredible pleasure with the process and outcomes of making this happen. I took massive action by changing my daily routine and adding fun hobbies.

I have changed my focus, the energy and old physical patterns in my body, and my dialogue with myself and others about my future. Once I took these steps, my change seemed effortless, and I am much happier for it and better equipped to serve others.  

If you want to change something in your life, decide if it’s a should or a must; shoulds rarely get done. If it’s a must, you are on the right track. Take note when you are repeating an old habit and break your triad. What are you focusing on, what’s happening in your body, and what language are you using to support this? Immediately do something to shake up all three parts of this triad to disrupt your conditioning, and repeat this each time until you have done it enough that the pattern no longer runs. 

Empowering people to regain their health, take charge of their lives, and live from their authentic selves has always been a passion of mine. I hope this article is helpful and that you make all of your goals and dreams a must. 

My best to your health and wellness,


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